p. 1Before Lord PENETRATING IMPARTIALITY and a Special Jury.
The Incorporated Scientific Era Protection Society v. Paul Christman and others.
Counsel for the Plaintiffs—Sir Fossil Coldsharp Partialfact Unbelief, D.C., assisted by Mr. German Mysticism, Mr. British Protoplasm, Mr. Lover-of-the-present-world, and Mr. Dontwanto Believeanyhow.
Counsel for the Defendants—Sir Noble Acceptorof Alltruth, assisted by Mr. Discerner of Facts, Mr. Wellwisher-of-Mankind, and Mr. Ardent Hope-for-a-reason.
This was an action to restrain the defendants from propagating a belief, or doctrine, alleged to be hurtful to the public interest, viz., a belief in the resurrection of one, Jesus of Nazareth, who was put to death by the lawful authorities of his own age, as a pestilent fellow. The trial excited immense interest and was attended by all classes of the public to an extent beyond computation. As the case was of a character affecting all classes, it had been considered desirable that the jury should comprise p. 2 as great a variety of representative men as possible. Consequently a large number of gentlemen had been summoned. Many of them were of long and reputable standing. The names, however, included some of a questionable character. His Lordship having taken his seat,
The Clerk of the Court (Mr. NEUTER CLEARVOICE), called upon the jury to answer to their names as follows: — Mr. Christadmirer, Mr. Honest-doubter, Mr. Shilly-shally, Mr. Science-dabbler, Mr. Dissipation-follower, Mr. Smartsophist, Mr. Disdain, Mr. Sheer Stupidity, Mr. Hopeful, Mr. Observer-of-facts, Mr. Lover-of-truth, Mr. Indignant-at-shams, Mr. Pleasure-hunter, Mr. Waster-of-time, Mr. Actor-out-of-his-convictions, Mr. Diligent-in-everything, Mr. Total Indifference, Mr. Worshipper of Protoplasm, Mr. Befogall, Mr. Hearty-in-everything, Mr. Promoter of Political-Improvement, Mr. Eye-to-Number-one, Mr. Hater-of-lies, Mr. Appreciator-of-beauty, Mr. Flasetongue, Mr. Shallow-brains, Mr. Believer-of-evidence, Mr. Candour, Mr. Prejudice, Mr. Mammon-worshipper, Mr. Care-for-reputation, Mr. Fearer-of-God, Mr. Enthusiastic-in-good, Mr. Frivolous, Mr. Sublimity, Mr. Avarice, Mr. Critical, Mr. Trier-of-dreams, Mr Toady-to-the-rich, Mr. Eye-to-the-ridiculous, Mr. Slugg, Mr. Cloudy-thoughtful, Mr. Lover-of-debate, and Mr. Sneer-at-faith.
Several of the jury failed to answer to their names, to wit: Mr. Waster-of-time, Mr. Total Indifference, Mr. Frivolous, Mr. Slugg, Mr. Disdain, Mr. Sheer Stupidity, and Mr. Sneer-at-faith.
His Lordship ordered the usual penalties.
The Clerk of the Court: Any objections to the gentlemen whose names have been called must be made before the Jury are sworn: otherwise, they cannot be entertained.
His Lordship: Have Counsel for the plaintiffs or defendants any objections?
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: My Lord, the Jury are rather numerous: but there is a proverb among the old school to the effect that in the multitude of counsellors is safety. I do not see any special ground of objection to any of them. With slight exceptions perhaps, they seem to me a very respectable body of gentlemen.
p. 3 Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I am sorry I cannot be so complaisant as my learned friend. I do not object to the multitude of counsellors, but there is a limit to everything. I do not see that we want such a crowd of gentlemen to decide a very simple issue like that which has to be tried to-day.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: It is not so simple an issue as you imagine.
Mr. British Protoplasm: The issue is simple enough, but it is likely to suffer at the hands of an unscientific Jury, like the one huddled together near the box at the present moment.
Mr. Juryman Lover-of-Science: Have mercy upon the Jury, Mr. Protoplasm.
Mr. B. Protoplasm: I beg pardon. I did not apply my remarks to you.
Mr. Juryman Honest-doubter: It ought not to be applied to any of us.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I was interrupted in my remarks. Although I do not think so large a Jury necessary for the trial of this case, still I should not object to the number of them if there were no exception to be taken to the quality of some of them. Several of the gentlemen whose names have been called, are in my opinion, unqualified to take part in a trial of this nature. Their interests are too notoriously at stake to allow of their giving an unbiassed verdict. I submit my objection to the Court.
The Clerk: Which of the Jury do you object to?
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I object, first of all, to Mr. Eye-to-Number-One. It is notorious that this gentleman is incompetent to give an impartial verdict in this case. His interests hang on the issue of the trial to a large extent. He is in the employ of the plaintiffs who give him a large quid pro quo for his services; and a verdict in favour of the defendants would be too manifestly to the detriment of his prospects to allow of our expecting him to consider the evidence with an unbiassed mind. He is well known for his habit of following and promoting and advocating those things only that lead to his personal advancement.
p. 4 Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: My friend ought to be charitable. He ought to practice the virtues of the school to which he belongs. I do not see why he should object to Mr. Eye-to-Number-One. If Mr. Eye-to-Number-One looks after his own interest, it is only what we all do; and for the matter of that, it is a highly creditable thing. I consider it the primary virtue of the social system. When each unit looks after itself, we have a guarantee that the whole will be looked after. Besides, is not personal advancement my friend’s great doctrine? What does this preaching of Christ mean but the advising of men to look after their own personal interests?
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I admit that a man serves his personal interests in the highest sense by embracing our doctrine; but I do not admit there is any parallel between the case of a man serving his personal interest in this way and the case of Mr. Eye-to-Number-One.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Why not?
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Because Mr. Eye-to-Number-One seeks his own interest alone, and that only which he can see to be immediately such, and to this he instinctively, even if unconsciously, subordinates every other consideration. Whereas he who seeks his personal interest in the faith and service of Christ does so by engaging to obey Christ who commands him to love his neighbour and to govern himself by probity, candour and truth. He cannot, under Christ, secure his personal interest except by the exercise of mercy and truth. And therefore in his very self-seeking in this direction, if my friend please to consider it such, we have a guarantee to trustworthiness, whereas in the self-seeking of Mr. Eye-to-Number-One, we have guarantee just the other way.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I have no particular partiality for Mr. Eye-to-Number-One. Still, he is a respectable and useful man, and quite as well-fitted to judge of his own interests as any other man.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Yes, but not of other people’s interests. That is my objection. Other people’s interests are vastly involved in the issue the Jury are called p. 5 upon to decide; and Mr. Eye-to-Number-One’s interests are all on the other side, and my contention is that he would instinctively veer to that side.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Well, I wont press the matter. I don’t admit your argument. Still, I don’t want to spend a whole day over one Juryman. I understand you object to some others.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I object to Mr. Mammon-worshipper. Such a man would not be likely to bring in a verdict favourable to a movement which condemns the worship of Mammon.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: The worship of Mammon! that is altogether too loose. What do you mean by the worship of Mammon.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: You surely do not require me to give you an exposition of that subject?
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: No: I hope you will spare us: But upon my word, it is too vague an objection against any man’s competency of judgment to say he is a Mammon worshipper.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I mean to say that a man who admires wealth in the vulgar sense of Mammon-worship—who is captivated by the flare and the blare of fashionable life—who imitates the ostentation of the rich so far as his means allows, and whose great aim is to be reckoned as high among them as possible, however good a judge he may be in common matters, is already steel-clad against all argument in favour of a doctrine and a system of things which condemn the mode of life that is most congenial to his soul. I press my objection.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Of course, you will press your objection; but I did expect that we should at least have some charity from the champion of the Christian cause.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I demur to the imputation of uncharity. It is the characteristic of Christian charity to “rejoice in the truth.” It is never an unkindness to any man to speak the truth. If the truth bear hardly on him, it is the fault of the man and not of the truth.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: We are not here to listen to a sermon.
p. 6 Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I am answering your complaint of uncharity.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Who do you object to next?
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I object to Mr. Dissipation-follower; to Mr. Pleasure-hunter, to Mr. Falsetongue, to Mr. Shallow-brains,——
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: You take my breath! you had better object to the whole Jury at once.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I object only to those who are objectionable. The gentlemen I have mentioned are notoriously unfitted to judge of the matters in dispute. I should have thought you would have admitted as much.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: You object to Mr. Shallow-brains?
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Yes, to Mr. Shallow-brains.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I am surprised.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I am surprised you should be surprised.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I thought the shallower a man’s brains, the better a believer he made?
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: That is a popular mistake. It is considerably from lack of brains that there are so many unbelievers.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Don’t be insulting.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I have no desire to wound your feelings, but I give utterance to my conviction.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Your conviction is opposed to notorious fact. You must know that the ranks of scientific scepticism represent the brains and culture of the country everywhere, and that if you want to get amongst dullness and mediocrity and mental vapidity, you have only to join some evangelical sect.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I must admit that the state of society lends but too much colour to your view of the case. But I still maintain that in the present state of circumstances, it requires more brains to be a believer than to be an unbeliever The situation is so confused that the ordinary mind cannot reconcile its elements. He sees a system that passes universally current for Christianity; p. 7 he sees on the other hand the discoveries of modern science at utter variance with that system in some of its leading principles. Being sure of the truth of science in its demonstrated parts, he decides at once that the system inconsistent with it is a myth. While his decision is logical enough and true enough as regards the popular Christian system, it does complete violence to a third element in the case, and that is, the Bible itself, which requires for its proper estimate a far deeper insight and a more extensive range of knowledge, than the common run of men possess. The superficial view ties the Bible and the popular Christian system together, and in rejecting one, rejects both, whereas they are two totally distinct things. The Bible is the complement of science in that department of futurity and destiny which science can never touch: it is not inconsistent with science either in its doctrine of human nature or the creation of heaven and earth, while with popular Christianity the case is notoriously otherwise. Now what I say is, that it requires more brains to discriminate co-ordinate truth in apparently conflicting departments than to adopt and profess the violent negations involved in the hypotheses of scientific scepticism.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Your presumption amazes me!
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Perhaps it is something else than presumption.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Well, we need not argue it. Who next falls under your Pontifical censure?
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: You need not be offensive. I am but in the exercise of a constitutional right.
Sir. F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Doubtless, but you bring such mighty airs to it.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I simply press cogent reasons.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Well, which of the respectable jurymen do you object to next?
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I object to Mr. Critical.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Mr. Critical! you still more surprise me. He is the one man I should say above all others who is qualified to sit on a jury like this. I p. 8 shall certainly insist on Mr. Critical keeping his place. I appeal to his Lordship.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: My objection to Mr. Critical is a perfectly valid one. I contend that a man whose distinguishing intellectual characteristic is a propensity to criticize, is not qualified to act the part of a judge in a matter requiring a verdict in accordance with positive evidence. Mr. Criticism loves criticism for criticism’s sake. He likes to indulge in it. It affords him pleasure, like a dog gnawing a bone or tearing a rag. He has no office in any other direction. When there is nothing to find fault with, he is listless and uninterested. He will find fault if he can, and if there is no fault to find, he snuffs and is silent. I say such a man is a dangerous man in the decision of a positive issue. You are, of course, aware that there is nothing under the sun which unfavourable criticism cannot make appear in a wrong light. There is no truth but what can be made to appear false in the hands of clever gentlemen of this sort. I object to his presence on the jury.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Then I insist on his presence. I say we want critical men to try professions of so extraordinary a character as those involved in this trial. If there had been more of the critical temper at the commencement of this matter, it would never have grown to the proportions it has. It is precisely because men are not critical that they are so easily gulled. I say a man is bound to refuse anything until it is proved: and it is precisely men of this stamp of Mr. Critical who do so.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Unfortunately they do not see when a thing is proved. A man may be very critical and yet lacking in logical perception. He may have an eye to faults and flaws while incapable of taking in the general drift of a matter, and perfectly unconcerned to know its truth. Besides, I object to the proposition of my friend, that we are bound to refuse everything until it is proved. We have, as a matter of fact, to accept a good deal that is not proved. We accept most things on the strength of a general probability. If men did not do so, society could not be carried on for a day. Who, for example, p. 9 could be perfectly sure that the glass of water handed to him in his thirst is not poisoned? Who can be perfectly sure that the letter brought by a messenger is not a forgery? Who can be sure that the latest telegram is not a fabrication? Are we to refuse a cheque sent to us by post until it is proved? Are we to refuse to take a journey by the railway until we have examined the machinery of the locomotives and the axletrees of the carriages, and the rails and sleepers of the entire line? Are we to refuse our groceries, our milk, our vegetables, and every article of ordinary use till we have proved them genuine?
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Now, now! my friend is going too far. He is carrying it to the point of absurdity. We shall never get the case commenced if we go on speechifying in this style.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I am only showing the reasonableness of my objection to Mr. Critical. It may seem absurd, but I say it is what Mr. Critical’s principle would come to if applied to common life. He would receive nothing but what he himself had authenticated. Many things are proved by a concurrence of considerations too broad and yet too subtle for his capacity. He may be sharp to see a point; but the point has to be very visible and very near his nose. His range of vision is narrow; his sight short. He can see a blade of grass, but not a landscape; and having to look so close, his blade of grass seems larger than it is, and a disproportion strikes where none exists. I say that Mr. Critical is totally unfit to sit in judgment on a matter involving so many wide and far-reaching facts as belong to the issue to be tried. I press my objection.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I must leave it to his Lordship. I do not see why Mr. Critical should be excluded from the jury. In my opinion he is a very respectable and capable gentleman. I have already said I consider him peculiarly qualified to sift a case of imposture—or at least a misrepresentation of facts—such as I believe this to be. Nothing would suit me better than to have the jury box packed with gentlemen of Mr. Critical’s talent and temper.
p. 10 Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I must ask his Lordship’s decision.
His Lordship: I do not think the case will suffer from the absence of Mr. Critical. I do not say, with such a highly respectable body of gentlemen as have been summoned, that it could suffer from his presence. Still, there is some weight in the arguments advanced against him, and if Mr. Alltruth insists, I must allow his objection.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I hope we have got through the objections now.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Nearly. I must object to Mr. Eye-to-the-Ridiculous. He cannot be at home in a matter so peculiarly calling for gravity and solid thought. I should think he would be glad to be relieved from a duty that must be irksome to him.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I do not see why Mr. Eye-to-the-Ridiculous should go. True, he is a little fond of fun; but I suppose we all are at times. I presume Mr. Eye-to-the-Ridiculous can be sober enough when he likes. He looks grave enough to-day.
Mr. Eye-to-the-Ridiculous: That is so. I don’t feel very jolly this morning. I had a writ last night—(laughter).
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I am sorry our friend has been so unlucky. It would be cruel to aggravate his misfortune by sending him out of Court with a stain on his character, as it were.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I have no desire to attach a stain to his character; but I must insist upon his unfitness to take part in this trial. He may be sober enough just now; but it is the mere demureness of personal trouble. It is the sobriety and mental habit which the present task calls for. His habit is to deal in the ridiculous. He delights in it. He has no relish for plain and serious matters. He only properly wakes up when there is a good joke. When he forgets his writ, his native propensity will assert itself; and he will not be in the box ten minutes before he sees something funny in the proceedings.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I should think that rather an advantage. We have a dreary enough case in p. 11 hand; and I should think my friend would be thankful to have it lit up with an occasional sparkle.
Sir Acceptorof Alltruth: There is a time for everything, as my friend very well knows. I submit that wit is entirely out of place in the consideration of the solemn issue we have to try to-day.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: When should you say wit was in place?
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: This is not the time to enter upon abstract disquisitions.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: It is you that have raised the point.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Negatively, perhaps: I say this is not the time. If I were called upon to say when wit is in place, I should say that it is always out of place when acting as a naked faculty. It is a power or tendency of mind intended to act in combination with other faculties, to give cheerfulness and grace—to act as a sort of underglow in the mental composition. The faculties intended to lead are those of the intellect and moral nature. Wit in combination with these give light and beauty; acting by itself, it is like the oxygen of the atmosphere when set free as a separate element: it burns and destroys. It is intended, like oxygen, to be an element in combination with others. It is not fit to act alone. When it stands out and works by itself, it is an abnormal phenomenon.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Then all I can say is, there is a good deal that is abnormal amongst us.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Unhappily, that is the case. Wit is cultivated at-the expense of wisdom. Society is a desolation in consequence.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I don’t see much desolation. Wit has the opposite tendency. It spreads cheer and brightness and drives away gloom—or desolation, as you call it.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: By desolation, I do not mean gloomy feelings. I mean the absence of that sound sense and wisdom that takes pleasure in the great and serious laws of existence.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: That sounds rather desolate, I must say.
p. 12 Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: It does to those whose minds have been desolated by wit.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I pray you, spare me, of your clemency.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I am much disposed to be merciful in all personal applications; but we must not cloak facts. Your remark illustrates what I submit to the Court in objection to Mr. Eye-to-the-Ridiculous, that where wit is in the ascendant, it occasions a mental indisposition to deal with and look at and weigh, as they ought to be weighed, the great and serious problems of life. There is a disrelish which amounts to aversion. Mr. Eye-to-the-Ridiculous is a constant reader of Punch and other forms of comic literature. What is the result? His native tendency becomes more and more developed until he can scarcely speak in a rational way about anything. He strains after smart and witty ways of speech. There is none of the quietness of wisdom that gives comfort to all around. He has an entire aversion to sensible things. His mind is, in fact, out of balance. His habit settles down into a kind of chronic foolery in whose company wisdom seems to fly away. How is such a man capable of judging the momentous matters we have to discuss to-day?
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: We do not ask him to judge. We merely ask him to join in a verdict as to facts. Surely any man can form an opinion as to facts.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: It depends upon the nature of the man and the nature of the facts. It is written in our books, “Wisdom is too high for a fool.” You may object to the Authority, but you cannot object to a maxim so trite and self-evident. The matters we have to investigate are of a nature and in a position requiring a grave attention and a logical insight; and it is not in the nature of a mind desolated by the continual combustion of folly, to give the one, or exercise the other.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Combustion of folly!
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I cannot claim originality for the saying. It is Solomon who likens “the laughter of fools” to “the crackling of thorns under a pot.”
p. 13 Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: With all respect to Solomon, I do not admire his simile. What he calls the laughter of fools, is well enough in its place. It is only a a variety of Nature’s activity.
Sir Acceptorof Alltruth: Granted: so is fire: so is cholera. You would not tolerate one or other in your house, although forms of Nature’s activity.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: There is no comparison.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: The things differ, but the principle is the same. A punster’s wit is a form of Nature’s activity out of its place. It has no business shooting and flaming on its own account. It works desolation among other faculties. Its place is in their helpful combination.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Well, we may carry this on all day. I do not see that you have made out a case against Mr. Eye-to-the-Ridiculous. Still, we shall have enough without him. Let us get on.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: You can have no wish to retain Mr. Avarice and Mr. Prejudice?
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Why should I let them go? Mr. Avarice is a respectable man; and as for Mr. Prejudice, although he has a bad name, I am inclined to think it is founded on a misconception.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Whatever may be the general opinion of one or the other, I submit they are clearly out of place on a jury empanelled to try this case. It is well known that Mr. Avarice is inaccessible to any sentiment or consideration that interferes with getting or saving; and he cannot be expected to deal impartially with the claims of a case which forbids those who identify themselves with it, to labour to be rich, or to lay up treasure.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I consider habits of prudence and thrift a credit to any man; and I would sooner trust the verdict of a man given to such habits, even if he carried them to an extreme, than of a man of loose and improvident ways.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Do not suppose I advocate improvidence. The precepts of Christ enjoin diligence p. 14 and wisdom in all practical ways—so much so that they forbid the feeding of a man who is idle. But there is a difference between providence and hoarding. The law of Christ forbids hoarding. It is notorious that Mr. Avarice is a hoarder; and therefore I say it is not to be expected that he could feel kindly or deal fairly with a system that goes against his dearest practice.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Do you say he is dishonest?
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Not exactly; not in the common sense of the term.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: If you do not say he is dishonest, I do not see why you should object to him.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: While I do not say he is dishonest in the ordinary sense—(that is, I do not say he would steal your purse. or tell a down-right lie), still, in another sense, I would not be so sure. A man may be dishonest without knowing it. That is, his mental inclinations may work so powerfully in a given direction, that he is incapable of seeing in an opposite direction. He cannot turn his mind round, so to speak. He thinks he is honest, because he speaks according to his feelings; yet, actually, he is in reality dishonest, because his feelings prevent him from giving in to the claims of truth. He is a little conscious of the fact, but not distinctly so. It is what I understand by a man being blinded by his interest. The Scriptures speak of it as being blinded by the god of this world. Mr. Avarice’s is distinctly a case if this sort. His habits are all in one direction, and the cause we are to try just looks in the other direction.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: You give us quite a lecture or moral philosophy. I wish we could have a little more common sense.
Sir Acceptorof Alltruth: I fancy I am not dealing in much else than common sense.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Oh, of course; the common sense is all on your side.
Sir Acceptorof Alltruth: Many a truth spoken in jest.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Now, be merciful. What have you to say to Mr. Prejudice?
p. 15 Sir Acceptorof Alltruth: I say Mr. Prejudice is not a thinker but a feeler; and we want thinkers to try this case.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I should have thought Mr. Prejudice was a pretty strong thinker.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Well, in a certain way, perhaps. He has strong thoughts—or rather let me say, strong mental impressions, in his head; but they are not the result of the process of thinking; they are not the effect of the exercise of reason; they are not mental perceptions; they are, as I have said,—impressions: —they are ideas and opinions formed under the bias of the powerful feelings that control him. Now, ideas of this sort are fixed; they cannot be altered by argument or by evidence; you might as well try alter the colour of a man’s hair.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: There are hair dyes.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Yes; but unfortunately there are no dyes for a man’s thoughts.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: The colour of our thoughts is altered by facts.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Yes, where there is the capacity to be susceptible to their effect.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Do you mean that Mr. Prejudice lacks this susceptibility?
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: That is just what I do mean.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: You must be mistaken there. Do you mean to say that if this building were to go on fire, Mr. Prejudice would not have the colour of his thoughts altered and disappear though the door as quickly as the rest of us?
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: To palpable facts of that character, no doubt Mr. Prejudice is quite accessible. My argument relates to higher facts—facts which do not force themselves on the attention like a fire--but which require some mental keenness to discern them, and some courage to own to the discernment. We are about to try a matter which runs counter to all Mr. Prejudice’s convictions; and the evidence to be submitted is not of a character, with a mind like his, to overpower convictions.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: You mean you have a weak case?
p. 16 Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Far from it. The case for the defence is the strongest I have ever had to do with; but it will not carry conviction with the unconvincible. I say Mr. Prejudice belongs to the unconvincible class as regards the higher action of the logical faculties. His strong feelings unfit him for a place on the jury.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: If strong feelings is to be made a ground of unfitness, I am afraid very few of us would be considered fit. Why your own clients show the strongest feelings ever exhibited in the history of mankind. I don’t know anyone so controlled by strong feeling as your genuine believer in Christ.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: You misapprehend me. I do not object to strong feeling per se. If Mr. Prejudice has strong judgment as well as strong feelings, I should not have a word to say against him; but strong feeling disjoined from sound judgment is not to be trusted in the determination of matters involving the weighing of evidence. It is like a high steam pressure in a poor machine. Give us a right machine, and you may have as much steam as you like: the more the better. Feeling is a noble element in human character when allied with controlling judgment. In fact it is indispensable to true efficiency of character. All the noble and efficient men of history have been men of strong impulses regulated by powerful minds.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I did not expect a lecture on metaphysics.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I am answering your arguments.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Very well; let Mr. Prejudice go. I hope you are now ready to go on with the case. We have had enough of objection surely.
Sir Acceptorof Alltruth: I object to Mr. Toady-to-the-rich.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Do let us know where we are. It seems to me you will object to the whole of the jury before you are done. I must really appeal to his Lordship. Give me a list of your further objections.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I have only two more p. 17 names, besides Mr. Toady-to-the-rich—Mr. Shilly-shally and Mr. Sheer Stupidity. This will exhaust my objections. We ought not to be long over these. You cannot wish to retain Mr. Sheer Stupidity, for example.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I don’t know that. He is an honest man. He is stupid; but perhaps there is an advantage in that it will be a protection to him against your refined hair-splittings. What we want is a commonsense verdict upon plain facts; and I should think Mr. Sheer Stupidity would be quite equal to that.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: It strikes me you misapprehend the nature of the investigation upon which we shall be engaged. I have already contended in the case of Mr. Shallow-brains that it requires more discernment to be a believer than an unbeliever. I will not go over the ground again. Unbelief is natural to ignorance, and ignorance is natural to us all at the start. In the circumstances of the present century, it is more difficult to believe than to deny. It takes a higher exercise of mind. Stupidity will naturally be on the side of unbelief.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I am surprised at your argument. You are notoriously in opposition to facts. Stupidity is always on the side of the priests. Go into any agricultural village, and where do you find the openmouthed gullibles? Is it not among the stupids? If there is a bit of smartness in the place, you always find it on the side of those who are known among the villagers as “infidels.” For once, Mr. Alltruth has made a mistake. Mr. Sheer Stupidity is clearly a friend of his. I am astonished he would object to him. In fact, on reconsideration, he ought to withdraw his objection.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I do not withdraw my objection. I admit the apparent force of your observations: but they do not touch my argument. I admit that where popular theology is in the ascendant, as in a parson-ruled country-side, it is natural to find the stupids with the clergyman. But you do not find the stupids called upon to settle controversies that may arise in the parish. In times of controversy, the stupids stand by incapable, even in small matters: they are of no use. How much less are p. 18 they fit to decide upon the great issue involved in the present action.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: You give up your argument about stupidity naturally inclining to unbelief?
Sir Acceptorof Alltruth: By no means. I still contend that stupidity is naturally unbelieving because naturally ignorant. I say that the belief you attribute to them is a mere conventional conformity which the same class would exhibit in any country in connection with any faith.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: What you call conventional conformity, I call the inevitable credulity of ignorance.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I admit ignorance is credulous in relation to that which is established and pressed upon the attention by circumstances of prosperity; but I must deny that this is the tendency of stupidity towards that which is obscure, difficult and opposed.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I insist upon Mr. Sheer Stupidity.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I need not say more. I leave it to his Lordship.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: We will take his Lordship’s decision.
His Lordship: I should have preferred if you could have agreed. Mr. Sheer Stupidity does not appear to me particularly qualified to assist either side. On the other hand, I do not know that he will much impede the case anyway. As the world is constituted, there must always be a certain amount of sheer stupidity brought to bear in the discussion of all public questions. Mr. Sheer Stupidity seems an honest well-meaning sort of man. I do not see, on the whole, that we shall gain anything by objecting to him.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: We have not yet disposed of Mr. Toady-to-the-Rich and Mr. Shilly-shally. My objection to Mr. Toady-to-the-Rich is somewhat the same as I have urged in one or two other cases. His bias is on the side of the plaintiff, with whom it is his habit to curry favour. A man of his character has not much capacity of discernment at any time; but what discernment he has p. 19 is completely neutralized in a case like this by the strong body of wealth and respectability that has always been arrayed against the claims of Jesus of Nazareth. His propensity to be on their side disqualifies him for an impartial consideration of the evidence.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I have no particular admiration for Mr. Toady-to-the-Rich. Still, if it were not that we had already consumed so much time with the discussion of objections to the jury, I should have something to say on his behalf.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: You give him up?
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I do not insist upon him to-day.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Nor Mr. Shilly-shally?
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Mr. Shilly-shally is a very harmless sort of person.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: We want a verdict with a backbone.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I hope we shall have it—on our side, of course.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Then you had better let Mr. Shilly-shally go. He is not a man that can make up his mind robustly one way or other.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: I do not dislike him for all that. I call him pleasant company. He takes care not to hurt anybody’s feelings.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: That would be my objection. Somebody’s feelings must be hurt in the decision of this case; and we want those who are prepared with fortitude to go wherever the truth leads, whatever sacrifice of feeling may be involved.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Let him go.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: Now we are through, so far as I am concerned.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: High time, too. There are several gentlemen on the jury that I ought really to object to; but we have already consumed so much time that I feel inclined to give way. I should have objected to Mr. Christ-admirer, Mr. Fearer-of-God, Mr. Enthusiastic-in-good, Mr. Believer-in-Christ, Mr. Paul-brother, p. 20 and some others. I should have contended that they could scarcely be considered impartial. However, I am not so uncharitable as my friend. I believe, on the whole, they are honest men, and will give a verdict according to the evidence.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I am glad you do not press your objections. I should certainly have contended for the entire fitness of all these gentlemen to be on the jury. They are each of them characterized by clearness of mental vision, and sound probity of character. The very predelictions they may have are the result of evidence operating in their minds.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: You need not dilate upon their superiority. I am going to be magnanimous and withhold the objections which I had thought of urging. I have nothing to say against the gentlemen personally. In fact, I believe they are highly respectable gentlemen; but I think it would have been better taste not to have summoned them.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I take leave to differ with you there. However, we need not argue the point.
His Lordship: I understand you now agree upon the constitution of the Jury.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Yes, my Lord.
His Lordship: I hope you will equally agree with their verdict.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: I for one will agree with their verdict, if it be a right one.
Sir F. C. Partialfact Unbelief: Oh, just so; a verdict for your clients would be a right one, of course. My friend is always so very charitable.
Sir N. Acceptorof Alltruth: It would be hypocrisy in me to pretend that a verdict for the plaintiffs could be a right one.
* * *
The Jury were then empanelled in the usual way, and the Court adjourned for lunch.